Buffet of Despair
This episode of Screw It! began with high hopes for Lana and Dawn. We’ve all seen the charts and articles about pairing Halloween candy with wines and our fans have been posting them to our Facebooks. We decided, why not? This sounds like fun!
IT WAS THE OPPOSITE OF FUN.
Jena Young and Christopher Stenzel posted the chart below and they have now replaced Duck Washington and his “frozen wines” fiasco. Congrats, kids! We now dislike you the mostest!
Here’s the Mental Floss chart we sacrificed our taste buds to.
Our Medium Red category was filled by Columbia Winery’s Composition Red Blend. Conquista Oak Cask Malbec completed our Bold Red. They were really good wines.
Don’t try this at home. Seriously.
It does get worse from here
This is what a peanut butter Snickers looks like when cut in half. You may die in peace now.
Oh we died so slowly. So very slowly.
It’s a really attractive pumpkin
So much slow death happening.
Wasabi snoring
A Screw It! first does capture the most adorable kitten snores. At least something went okay in this episode. In addition to what Dawn did to Lana regarding strawberry starburst. Dawn is still so very proud of herself.
The grisly aftermath
Nope. Couldn’t even finish the chocolate. It was baaaaaad. Soooo veryyyyyy baaaaaaaaad.
Why? Why?!?!?!?!?!?!
Please, for the sake of your Halloween happiness, listen to our cautionary tale of woe! Don’t subject yourself to this horror! Don’t sacrifice good wine to craptastic chocolate.
Our work here is done.
Micki, Ryan and Jack, from “Friday the 13th, the Series.” Because it was bothering me that I couldn’t remember.